Jun 132017
Virtual reality, wanking and fear of death

Virtual reality is the future. It offers people the ability to be completely immersed in another world and, obviously, part of that future is looking like a massive twat and masturbating with something more expensive than a real doll: Besides using it to please the devil, scientists from the University of Barcelona (rating of 4.2 on […]

Jun 062017
Chill the fuck out, you're just too high says science

Smoking marijuana or, as it is more commonly known, Pot, Weed, Grass, 420, Ganga, Dope, Herb, Joint, Blunt, Cannabis, Reefer, Mary Jane, Buds, Stinkweed, Nuggets, Chronic, Gangster, Skunk and Wacky Backy, is cool. You don’t need science to tell you that. Although there’s lots of evidence that smoking weed makes you really hungry and everyone knows you’re high, there’s […]

May 302017
Scientists have figured out why Sherpas are so good at sherping

This week, I have teamed up with content partner, Espresso Science, to give you two different perspectives on the same science story. Check out Espresso Science on their website, HERE, on Twitter, @scidocmartin, and Soundcloud.     Now that I’m over 30, I can’t even stand up without having to hold on to a wall […]

May 162017
Bad timing: climate change is separating horny birds from spring time

Climate change is a really big deal…to most of us. As humans, we have fancy ways of dealing with it, such as funding research into renewable energy and impeaching Donald Trump. Stupid ol’ nature, on the other hand, just doesn’t listen when famous climate change deniers such as Lord Mr Monkton explain “things are warming up, sure, […]

May 092017
Science has good news for your flourishing bromance

Is there anything more fulfilling than seeing two grown men lovingly embrace each other then get a little bit embarrassed? I think not. The relationship between same-sex, straight-identifying males is becoming increasingly emotionally intimate thanks to the leftist agenda sweeping across the nation. To get to the no-homo bottom of it, researchers from the University of Winchester, […]

May 022017
Cystitis? Regardless of what the tests say, it almost certainly is

Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are very common in women. It’s probably because evolution is playing a cruel trick on them by placing all of the body’s dirty bits within bacteria’s commuting distance. UTIs can be caused by having sex and wearing luminous g-strings but, despite what your mum told you, not necessarily by wiping back to front. […]

Apr 252017
The surprising solution to your plastic waste: caterpillars

I have always tried to stay up to date with the latest trends in genital hygiene, and vaginal douching is one that I have been conflicted about. Sure, I’m all for a super clean vagina but I worry about two things. Firstly, doctors actually recommend that women don’t douche their vagina. It changes the balance […]

Apr 182017
What the fuck are time crystals and why don't I understand?

Despite what most social media science news publications will lead you to believe, science doesn’t, and shouldn’t, always have an end application. In that way, it’s similar to the trend of stretching out ear lobes or, for that matter, any body modification that leaves your dear old granny nauseous. Take a recent discovery from Harvard University (home […]

Apr 112017
Batteries inspired by the veins on big scary willies

It seems like everything we own is now rechargeable: phones, lights, watches, and internet connected dildos. To facilitate our sexy, cordless existence, all of these devices need a battery. The problem is that the batteries used for our strangulation-proof-life become degraded by frequent recharging. The sort of frequent recharging required during an all-night, swipe right binge on tinder […]

Apr 042017
Why skin cancer cells are such wankers

Being told “you have skin cancer” is pretty rubbish. It’s up there with “your brother and I have been shagging on your favorite Egyptian cotton sheets” and “please get out of the swimming pool, I think you have just shit yourself”. Skin cancer is a really aggressive form of cancer which, if left untreated, can spread really quickly. […]

Mar 282017
The ultimate munchies for health conscious stoners

This week, the Canadian government announced that it is drafting some really boring paperwork to allow something that is anything but boring: the legalisation of recreational marijuana. The legislation is to be passed before 1 July 2018, which means Canadians have plenty of time to increase their tolerance before the arrival of the types of edibles that’ll make […]

Mar 212017
How to leave research like a boss

If you’ve come across this post because your last set of experiments went to shit and your supervisor is currently being a massive paper-demanding douche, now is absolutely not the time for you to leave research. I know that it would feel awesome to march into your supervisor’s office, flip the bird, expose yourself and leave […]

Mar 142017
Dressing up as Santa - not the only benefit of having kids

Accidental or not, once hot, fresh jizzum comes into contact with a lady egg you have a good chance of changing your life, forever. The good news is that having children is not only shitty nappies and sleepless nights. Scientists from the meatball scoffing country, The Kingdom of Sweden, have reported in the Journal of […]

Mar 072017
Just because you're a dickhead now, it doesn't mean you'll be one forever

Think back to when you were 14 years old. Did you know someone who was such a twat that you decided to never speak to them again? Well, if it’s been a long time, it may be worth reigniting the friendship. A new study, from the University of Edinburgh (home of the “posh Scottish accent“, […]

Feb 282017
You're poisoning your cat, and you don't even care.

Humans love to keep animals locked up for our enjoyment, we call them “pets” because “strokes” makes your uptight auntie feel uncomfortable. Keeping pets for entertainment means that they have to be enslaved in our homes for the entirety of their cute lives. While locked in your house, they are subjected to your questionable taste in music, the smell […]

Feb 212017
A misogynist's guide to supporting women in STEM

Dear misogynist, Maybe you have stumbled upon this post accidentally while looking for the men’s rights facebook page, or while trying to get your head around male privilege (That’s why I put google food in the first paragraph on these things). In the worst case, you are here because you have been sent a link to this article, […]

Feb 142017
Addiction resistant mouse makes better decisions than you

Even your favourite teacher loves doing drugs. Drugs are one of the cornerstones of life along with food, sex and using internet explorer to download chrome or firefox. If someone’s love of drugs becomes an obsession it can completely alter the reward system in the brain and lead to long-lasting behavioral changes that make them a junkie. In other […]