Aug 232016
Willy Nelson Waiving

I’d love to say that success in the scientific realm is always preceded by application of considerable intellect over many years of self-doubting research. In a media hungry world, scientific success is increasingly following those willing to blow their own trumpet. In other words, science is starting to reward the people who believe their own bullshit the most. I make the same face when I hear someone talk about how great they are at science that I do when I hear someone describe which parts of the body are prone to ripping during childbirth.

Disgusted face of Clint Eastwood

Unfortunately, neither is likely to be stopped anytime soon. How do you respond? Well, I’d suggest looking deep into their eyes, tilting your head and leaning in for a kiss – they’ll shut up very quickly and the worst case scenario is you”ll get a moment to reflect on the consequences of bad choices.

Scientists should be allowed to be proud of what they have achieved. After all, it’s not easy. And when it all goes well there needs to be some public recognition and dissemination of the findings. So, unzip those metaphorical pants and set those science genitals free. Flap ’em all up in peoples faces, they will be very happy for you for about 10 minutes. Savor those sweet free genital moments because, very quickly, the novelty will wear off, the room will start to smell, and it’ll be time to stop. The same is true for any science brag. The media department at any given university will very happily support a science willy waiver, quickly becoming their genitalia cheerleaders. Much like the career and life expectancy of a Hollywood child actor: let that shit decay away over a short period time.

With the perpetual grant cycle and continuous requirements for academics to create high profile science, I’m sure that bragging is around to stay. After all, who else is going to sing your praises from the hill tops if it is not you? Let’s just make sure that the bragging is targeted to the right audience and not to people trying to enjoy their lunch or attempting to end conversations with you. Finally, if you can’t beat them, join them. Perhaps we all have something to learn from the not-so-humble scientist.

Lets make science stanky!

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